Wow, when did I fall in love with Jesus Christ! You know I could tell you how I met Christ and I could tell you how dishonest I was before Christ but what you really asked me was when did I fall in love with Him. Jesus came to me in a time when I personally needed a Savior. When I needed someone to believe in me and comfort me. Someone to really assure me that they will always be there for me, and this was the beginning of our Love Story.
I was spending more time in His word and in prayer. Jesus began to reveal the deep things of Himself in the Bible to me. I got to know His character and hear His voice and I grew in Him. I would ask Him for simple things and it would come to me in amazing ways as if He was letting me know it was from Him. Then that day came when the voice I came to trust, the voice I was comfortable with asked me for the one thing I feared the most. I knew it was Him asking, not just because I knew His voice but because only He would know that I wasn’t giving Him all of me. He asked me about something that nobody knew, not my parents, not even my wife. This is what He asked me, “ I want you to love from your heart.”
That may not seem like much to many of you reading this but to me it was the most horrifying thing you could ask of me and Jesus knew it! Let me share something about myself with you. I was a thirty-something year old man, strong, prosperous and confident on the outside but Jesus saw what was broken on the inside. What He saw was a little kid bound by fear. I was a kid who was hurt by the people who were supposed to love me, people I should have been able to be vulnerable with. I’m not talking about physical abuse; this was a verbal abuse that left emotional scars that crushed a little boy’s heart. Jesus saw a kid who placed his heart out there and felt what the world would do to it and swore that he will never experience that pain again. Jesus saw a kid that detached himself from his heart and lived externally. It was as if I placed my heart in a safe and threw away the key.
Jesus knew that the relationships around me were suffering because of it. My relationship with my wife, my kids and others suffered. I want to tell you this about Jesus; He is going to take you into the darkest places inside of you because first, He has to clean the inside of the bowl. So when Jesus asked me to love from my heart, oh yeah, we argued and it sounded like this, “ You can’t ask me to do that, You know this world better than me, they’re going to hurt me Jesus! People are cruel, selfish, vicious and downright mean!” Those were my words to Him.
In the softest most encouraging voice He said to me, “I’m not asking you to trust them, I’m asking you to trust Me.” The voice I’ve come to trust was preparing me to walk down a very dark road. I would still fight back, my reply was, “Lord, I need you to be who you say you are.” And He said, “I Am.” What happened next is when I fell in love with Jesus Christ. He walked me down that dark road. We came upon a tomb made out of bricks. Together we removed the bricks one by one. He would pass each brick to me and I would lay it down. An opening soon appeared, His presence lit up the tomb and there sat a little boy balled up in a corner, rocking back and forth, bound by fear. I watched as Jesus reached in and took the boy by his hand and raised him up. That little boy then leaped into me and an overwhelming sense of peace and joy came over me. I knew that I could love again and that’s when I fell in love with Jesus. I now Love because He first Loved me. Hallelujah!